Make your own free website on Tripod.com

Hypothetical History


(Noun)- Name given to the movement of the early 21st Century, of taking events from history out of their time period and inserting them into other events that happened at a different time.


Inspiration

Hello, my name is Dellinger, and my teachings are the inspiration for this site.

Dellinger

The inspiration for this site comes from the teachings of a teacher named Dellinger.  Who is this mysterious Dellinger?  Well, no one really knows.  Dellinger his name, and history is his game.  He teaches US History with the kind of passion that Magua shows in The Last of the Mohicans (shown in class).  He uses a combination of American Pageant by Thomas A. Bailey (the same one who killed our former leader Jefferson Davis), and A People's History of the United States that he wrote during his study at Western Carolina.  His class centers around the what if's of history rather than the what really happened.  One of his former colleagues, known only as a fan of Thomas whatever his name is, named Cunningham, said that he thought Dellinger was teaching,"a warped version of history."  I don't really remember what Thomas's last name was since we didn't really study him, since he was defeated so easily by Hamilton before he faded into obscurity.  Anyways, thanks for the inspiration for this site, Dellinger.


ROMMEL

Erwin Rommel:  The Greatest Confederate General Alive.

Erwin Rommel

Erwin Rommel.  The Desert Fox himself.  The man singlehandedly responsible for the victory of the Confederacy in the American Civil War.  With the secession of the Confederate States, Erwin Rommel was given command of the Confederate Army along with another, General Robert E. Lee.  Together with Toussiant L'Overture and Peter Stuyvesant, they formed the greatest alliance of military geniuses ever brought together under one flag.  The Civil War was an easy victory for the Confederacy.  Under President Jefferson Davis, they rose to power.  However, in 1864, Davis was assassinated by a crazed Northerner named Thomas A. Bailey.  The nation mourned the loss of its president.  Bailey was tried and then executed by the once used method of being shot by everyone that lived within a ten mile radius of Richmond with a bb gun.

Army of Northern Virginia  LEE

+

          Africa Korps  ROMMEL

=

United States of America  US

in

      Anarchy  Anarchy


Hamilton

In the Election of 1800, I beat Thomas who?  Anyways, I am the man responsible for the growth and initiative of the Federalist party.  Without me, they'd be lost.

Alexander Hamilton, the greatest economic mind to ever live.  Also considered to be the greatest President the United States has ever had.  He took the job in 1800, defeating the Dark Horse candidate, Thomas Jefferson or Johnson, or is it Jackson, I'm really not sure, but anyway Thomas was ruined when CBS aired their movie, Sally Hemmings, so Hamilton really ran unopposed.

Hamilton's Own: The 10 Dollar Bill


I Am the Walrus

V.I. Lenin-  "Saturday is Shabbas, the day of rest.

Shut up Donnie. V.I. Lenin.  Vladamir Ilich Ulyanov.  Saturday in shabbas.  The Jewish day of rest.  Lenin living in the past of three thousand years of beautiful tradition from Moses to Sandy Koufax was unable to work on Saturdays.  This was a severe hindrance to Communism and as some historians have speculated, is the reason for the eventual downfall of the USSR and the Communist government.


The Federalist Papers

What are you doing down in the basement with your sister?How about Marx and little Van Van Van.  Yes, I like the sound of that.Tippecanoe and Webster too.  No.  Tippecanoe and Van Buren too.  No.  I've got it.  Tippecanoe and Tyler too.  Yeah that's it!

                  Sigmund Freud                               Karl Marx                  William Henry Harrison  "Tippecanoe"

In the early 1900's, a group of men got together and wrote a series of essays together known as the Federalist Papers.  The first Federalist Paper was written by Karl Marx.  It was known as the Communist Manifesto.  This was a democratic masterpiece.  The second was written by William Henry Harrison.  It was known as, "Ohhhhhhhh Captain, My Captain."  The third was written by Sigmund Freud.  It came to be known as Walden Two:  A Look into the Mind of B.F. Skinner.  Freud was a key component in the essays, adding a behaviorist, not psychoanalytical viewpoint to the essays.  The essays were formally stopped when in 1912, Marx was killed by Aaron Burr in a duel.  However, Tippecanoe wrote for many years afterward with his last work published just before he died in 1949 at the age of 97.


Nixon and the War of 1812

Yes I know, the bottom of my face is rather large.

As president during the War of 1812, Richard Milhous Nixon set a precedent which all previous presidents have followed.  He led the country without a hint of scandal in his administration.  Unlike the presidency of George Washington, Nixon did not fall victim to the bribery of the big money and special interest groups in Washington.  But, with the Eaton Affair looming over his head, he was forced to resign his position as President.

August 9, 1815:  The nation mourns as Nixon resigns his presidency.

August 9, 1815


Accolades

Why did I let Hooker take over and blow it at Chancellorsville?  The only good thing he ever did was let Stonewall Jackson get killed by his own men.

The Award for best facial hair during any part of history goes to Ambrose Burnside.

Where's my cavalry.  Oh yeah, I just led them all to their deaths.

Worst battlefield leadership goes to George McClellan.

98 Billion, 99 Billion, 100 Billion,   WOO-HOO!!!!!!

The "I'm Richer Than You" Award goes to Bill Gates.


This site is Big Lebowski approved.

    The Dude, Donnie, and Walter enjoy Hypothetical History.                                 As does Jesus.



Hypothetical History Message Board
Welcome to the Hypothetical History message board